2 A Day and Other Forms of Admonition, Retribution

My Journal is Friends Only

I don't know what I'm doing
I found this on someone else's site, went and calculated my own, and this is what I have in terms of weight loss in the last week. 15 pounds! I'm still fasting. I'm actually feeling like maybe I should just never stop fasting. Just keep going until I absolutely can't go anymore. That's a stupid, dangerous idea - I know this. I'll just have to see what happens. I am four days (counting today) away from the end of my ten day fast. What will I do?



Raw broccoli 5 spears = 11 cals
Raw Spinach 1 leaf = 2 cals
1 medium sized pickle = 12 cals
Lettuce - 1 leaf = 1 cal

1 cup vegetable broth 15 cals... double check every time for each brand of course.

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar = 10 cals

tuna 70 cals (Last Resort... after seven days)..

Here's the new schpeal!                    2 just water fasting.
                                                               3rd and 4th day 1 bowl of broccoli with spinach, balsamic vinegar for flavor if must
                                                               5th and 6th day can add a pickle in there later... cut into small pieces but only if desired
                                                                7th day is assessment day.... if I need a can of tuna, then I can have one as well as a bowl of veggies...

Try for no coffee and a lot of exercise to keep up muscle mass and lose. Starting point is today, Saturday october 25th... assessment point is Saturday 1.

It not much, but...
One of the key things to writing anything is to pull the reader in with the first sentence, the first paragraph, and to leave them gasping for more by the end of the first section.

So starting the characters in a physical conflict right from the very begining is helpful with that, grabbing the reader and making them curious (you know how crowds always form around trouble, in real life). It is also good to end on an unsuspected note, forcing the character into greater or more 'involved' conflict (probably physical) at the end of the first chapter/section as well.

That's all I have for today. 

My list of movies that depict child abuse

In no particular order:

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints


An American Crime

The Basketball Diaries

Bastard Out of Carolina

Beautiful Thing

Boot Camp

Boy's Don't Cry

The Breakfast Club

Brothers of the Head

The Butterfly Effect

The Cell

Dear Frankie

El Bola/Pellet


The Five People You Meet in Heaven


Gracie's Choice

The Hamiltons

Hannibal Rising

The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things

Joe the King


Ken Park

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang



Life as a House

Lightning Bug



Mirage (macedonian)

Mysterious Skin

Mystic River

Personal Velocity

The Quiet

Running Scared




Song for a Raggy Boy

Tom Brown's School Days

Turn the River


White Oleander

Savage Messiah


cider house rules


Friday night lights

Pan's Labyrinth

To Kill a Mockingbird

A history of violence

The Good Son

Lonely Hearts


Walk The line

Jane Eyre

James and the Giant Peach

I read...

I read, or heard, somewhere that to make writing as clear and powerful as possible one should take out as many descriptive '-ly' adjectives as one can.

I think this is valuable information. Of course, everyone's style is their own and does not have to stick to these guidelines at all (becasue there is no problem with telling  a 'ly'... sorry, lame.).

But the difference is impressive. The trick is that what my goal would be, in doing this, is to replace normal 'ly' + verb = description with a verb that is accurate enough and powerful enough to convey the point on its own.

"The little girl bound out with her braided hair slapping against her back violently." 
                  This could be exchanged with: "The little girl bound out with her braided hair slapping her back like exclamatory pats of congratulations."

Sure, a confused sentence. There are probably much better examples out there. It then becomes, however, a decision between utlra-description or simplicity. Go for simplicity if you're in the middle of something fast-paced. Other than that. You're on your own.

I am behind on everything. I have far too many words for my short story and not enough for the long one. I wrote the short, and it became 27000 words, then I cut it back down to about 9000 and it keeps threatening to go up every time I revise to take things out. The story is a little mixed up because I tried to condense the good ideas from 27000 into 9000 and so not there is this mass of super-sweet goo... too much description that is is going beyond gettting in the way of plot and starting to pull out guns and take karate. I tried to set another goal for myself for the long story (it involved filling out some holes in the plot and expanding on a vital character or two). I failed that one because I have been focusing on work too much (which is a good thing, but... you understand).

So. New goals. Revise the short and fill in some holes in the long. The short is ultimately due July 20th, so the 19th is the due date to have absolutely everything done by then. Revise, Rewrite, Rework... whatever it takes. And don't let the long go stagnant.

I'll post something more if I can think of it. Heh... Heh.... 

(no subject)

I am  actually over 8000 words for the short story, and the rough draft of it is complete - and wiggy- and I am going to start editing it soon. I have some tips for editing that I am looking at. I am trying ot eventually make the ultimate editing technique guide thingamajig which I can use for everything (though half the fun is in the search and capture of the techniques).

Here's what I have that's new, obvious, but interesting anyway.

- Reveal the character(s) constantly throughout the story.
- Make it easy for the reader - explain your references and big words (subtley) but at the same time make the reader feel smarter.

-Read from the bottom of the page up to catch all spelling and grammar accidents without getting caught up in the work.
- Work with a ruler like a little kid to slow your focus and not skip anything.
- Likewise, touch each word with a pencil to make sure you don't skip over it.
- Double check for words you commonly mispell. Spell-check is not going to find the difference between Form and From or To, Too, Two, tutu (you know =D)

Finally, interestingly phrased:

- Skim out all teh fat from the story to make it exciting and fast-paced - agility in a short story is key to the reader's interest in your work.

Current Word Count Short S.
5,028 words 

as of 11:49 pm 

June 11, 2008

New word count.
 4,091 short story. 

6:22 pm now 4,514


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